After finishing my exams last week, I have had this week to have fun, explore again, and reminisce. I walk through the city and everything from magpie birds to men in army uniforms brings back a memory of even the small and insignificant parts of my stay here. I have been able to go out with friends that I was close with at the beginning of the year, and also those who I have just gotten to know this past week. Now that I am not overwhelmed with classes and tests, I have been able to truly enjoy my last week here and to fall in love again with not only France as a language or a culture, but as the place that has become home.
Today I woke up early, just after the sunrise and I decided to take a walk around La Roseraie, my neighborhood. The moment I stepped outside and began to walk on the sidewalk lined with gates with intertwining rosebushes and vines, I began to cry and did not stop until I came home a half hour later. Last night as I said my farewells to so many close friends who have become my family here in Angers, the floodgates opened. Difficult as it was last night, it was even more difficult to comprehend the incredibly contradictions I found as I was taking my little stroll this morning. I felt emotionally exhausted already and was crying, but everywhere I looked showed signs of life, beauty and calm. The flowers that go through the gates and drape over you as you walk on the sidewalk, the blackbirds singing and chasing each other from one rooftop to the next, the scent of freshly made bread and croissants from the boulangeries opening their doors. And of course, the French. Always seeming to be in a hurry and indifferent to their surroundings, they were going about their normal routine at an unhurried pace and with a smile on their face.
Sometimes it is incredibly easy to remember that in the hardest times, you come out stronger. When I left Grand Haven in September, I cried because all I could see was what I was leaving behind. Now I am crying because I see what I have here and also what waits at the other side of the ocean, and I just can't believe it's already time to go back. This summer I will finally be able to reconnect with my family and friends without a computer screen (skype) and being physically at the same place as my family seems so unreal to me. I will also be working at the nature center as I did last summer and taking two summer classes. This fall the road leads to the Golden Dome for I have been accepted as a transfer student to Notre Dame and I feel so blessed and so excited for the next chapter of my life to begin.
Right now, I want to live my life by this quote from a song "Debout les fous, le monde sans vous perde la raison. Suivons jusqu'au bout, les fous qui dérangent sont des anges." Of course it sounds great in French, but the literal translation is "Stand up those who may be called crazy, the world without you loses it's purpose, follow through to the end because the crazy people who seem disturbing are angels." I'm crazy about France and about helping and loving others, and now is my time to stand up and meet the next part of my life. I am going to follow through to the end, and this is definitely not the last time France and I meet.
A la prochaine fois
Summer 2011 here I come!
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